"The ego is like a gravitational force field...which draws us away from the love in our hearts." Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"
This is a good description of what I've been experiencing for several days with a bout of Vertigo. It feels like this looks:
When it comes upon me I feel I'm on a raft going over a waterfall being pulled down into the vortex, spinning at an ever increasing speed. If I'm standing I have to hang onto something or else I'll be pulled down to the floor. It is a rather interesting but disconcerting feeling--like you get when you first step off a whirly ride at the carnival. I can experience it just turning over in bed. I feel like Alice in Wonderland being sucked down into the rabbit hole!
Williamson's comparison of this gravitation force to the ego is apropo. How many times have I been left in the same sort of confused state when my ego exerts itself and pursues the very opposite of what I want--to be love--to get and give it. I end up going in circles--from exerting my rights and feeling good about it, to feeling the separation it causes and feeling bad about it. The ego is fear-based. It fights for self-survival. But true happiness is love-based.
Jesus talks about being one with the Father and His desire to be one with us and that we be one with each other. When we give to others we're giving to ourselves. Whatever we withhold from others we withhold from ourselves. Williamson says it clearly this way, "To the extent that we abandon love, to that extent we will feel it has abandoned us."
Susan Branch says it another way. She offers a free bookmark you can print out on her website that says Love is Love's Reward. I think it is a very good reminder that we have a choice between letting Ego rule over us or letting Love be our guide.
Father, thank you for the vivid experience of what it feels like to be caught up in my Ego. It is not a pleasant feeling. How much better and less harrowing if I would just let Love be my guide always.
Link to scripture: http://niv.scripturetext.com/john/17-20.htm
Take action: Guide to Finding a Charity You Can Trust