Gift of Forgiveness

In Our Daily Bread David Roper uses the imagery of plowing a field for the first time--how it churns up the larger stones and then each pass of the plow over the same ground reveals more and more rocks.  One hundred years ago our property had been farmland.  It has become wooded in the ensuing years, but the piles of rocks along the perimeter where the farmer threw the rocks he'd plowed up are still there. . . .

Our Christian life is much the same--just when we may feel we've been plowed enough--that all our hidden sins have been revealed and confessed--we find there are more to be reckoned with.

I've been dealing with a supersensitivity to fragrances since last summer when I was accidentally exposed to an undiluted essential oil.  I've always been able to smell things others can't, like mildew, but now my sense of smell is heightened and extends to pleasant fragrances that now cause unpleasant physical side effects.  After another exposure to strong fragrances in my own home which intensified my sensitivity to all chemical fragrances I've taken to the Internet to find a way to rid my house of the offending fragrance--that only I seem to be able to detect.  In the process I realized there was an emotional component to my physical reaction.  I've learned about the different parts of the brain that control our automatic reactions, emotional reactions, and conscious/intentional responses.  Because of my initial physical reaction I discovered the fight or flight region of my brain was signaling to me I was not safe.  Even when the fragrance was nearly gone just the whiff of it was enough to release the stress hormones.

I've also learned that as a society we are poisoning ourselves with the many chemicals in the products we use--not only cleaning supplies, candles, air fresheners, laundry products, but personal products like lotions and perfumes.  Some have actually killed pets.  Even if I hadn't developed this super-sensitivity I would have eliminated these items from my home based on what I now know.

I share all this with you because God is using this  difficult trial in my life to churn up hidden fears from my childhood not only so I can turn them over to Him, but also to "clean up" the toxins in my life (the chemicals in my home as well as my toxic thoughts).  Just like the pile of rocks on our property that the farmer 100 years ago plowed up and piled to the side, my buried hurts and transgressions are being brought to the surface so I can let them go.  Holding onto to anything that separates us from God is toxic to us. Let Him plow your field until it becomes a fertile receptacle for His seed.

Father, my life is in Your Hands.  May I be a willing participant in what you are plowing up and planting into it.

Link to Scripture:  Psalm 139:23-24

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