Dreams Part II

Every now and then I go through a period of restlessness because I feel like I should be doing more than I am.  I am blessed with lots of time to do as I please, and I keep busy with my various activities, but only a few of them feel as though they have a purpose of any importance.  Years ago when I was on the verge of becoming an empty-nester I attended a class called "Soul Painting".  The instructor had us roll paint on a large sheet of paper then lay a piece of tissue paper over that.  Then she told us to use our finger to "draw" what was in our souls.  The pressure of our finger would transfer the paint onto the tissue paper and when we lifted it we would have our picture.  We were allowed to embellish that in any way we desired.  The other students had very artistic abstract paintings of different colors.  Mine turned out to be more literal because I added my own photographs and wrote words.  I didn't feel that mine looked nearly as artistic as everyone else's.  Now, however, years later I find mine very meaningful and beautiful to me.  It has been stuck to my closet wall where I see it every morning and every evening when I dress.  It is worse for the wear.  The embellishments at the bottom have fallen off.  The tissue paper has torn.  The whole thing keeps falling off the wall, and I stick it back up.  Even that is symbolic.  This is what it looks like:

The swirls and the arrows represent my feeling of going in circles but desiring to hit a mark.  


This is the the circle on the right side of the paper:

It spins on the pin so you can read it.  It says what my life has been.


This is the photograph in the top left corner:

It's somewhere in the Blue Ridge Mountains and represents things off in the distance.  


This is the photograph in the top right corner:

It represents the things that I've let slip out of my hands.  


This photograph is hidden behind the "red door"--the leaf rubbing:

I can't remember now if this quote is mine or borrowed.  I went on-line to see if I could find it and instead found over 2,000,000 hits on the subject.  It seems I'm not alone in this desire to live a purposeful life.


When I became a mother I felt a profound purpose.  My babies needed me in order to survive.  What I did or didn't do mattered through the years as they matured.   I read books, consulted professional advice, and prayed about whether I was doing right by them.  Then they grew up and left home.  It seems motherhood is one of the few jobs where your success makes it obsolete. 


At this point in my life I feel as though I'm starting over with my life.  I don't have the advantage of youth, but I do have the advantage of experience and therefore some wisdom.  I know you must take risks if you're to have a life because life is risky.   I'll keep waking up each morning and remind myself today is Another Perfect Day and hopefully, as I seek to know God even better and praise Him with thankfulness in my heart He will fulfill His purpose in and, therefore, for me.  This, to me, is living a life on purpose.


Father, help me not to lose courage to push ahead to find my rest in You so that Your Will is manifested in my life.


Link to scripture:  1 Corinthians 2:6-16