Ever feel the only way to express what you're feeling is to scream like in Evard Munch's painting, "The Scream"?
I apparently do.....because this is how I woke myself and my husband this morning--a blood curdling scream! I will spare you the sound effects to go along with the painting.
In the dream I was having at the time I was asking someone to explain why they'd done what they'd done and this person wasn't answering me. I asked at least three times, each time saying "tell me quickly". When this did not illicit a response, I screamed--for real. My first thought upon waking was that the dream was about the other person's lack of response, but then I realized the reason the other person didn't answer is because I didn't have the words--it was my dream after all--I was supplying the dialogue for both parties. It was clear to me then that I was expressing something I did not have words for and a scream would have to suffice. Then I began to laugh.
All of my devotional readings this morning, interestingly, touched on this subject. One talked of being satisfied, another silence, the third was on being preoccupied with analyzing the problem rather than just accepting the solution which brought more laughter since I could see myself so clearly in it. The last one was on living our lives more carefully and embracing the moments that really count.
I don't want to be guilty of the third devotional's admonishment and analyze this too deeply, but I do need to make a point here. Sometimes when we become uncomfortable with the Silence--when our questions and requests aren't answered--and we are feeling highly unsatisfied because of this--a scream, of sorts, is necessary. But rather than a throat tightening sound (I had a sore throat afterwards) I suggest a throat opening sound instead--laughter. The laughter I experienced right afterwards and then again later was much more cleansing and....satisfying. Laughter is a way to embrace the moments that really count because its in those moments that we have let go and let live.
Here's something to get you started: Baby Laughing
Father, You are the author of laughter. May I be open to You so that I will rejoice in times of silence.
Link to scripture:http://bible.cc/luke/6-21.htm